Hot Mature Cheerleaders
Spam made me think this morning.
The subject line read: "Hot Mature Cheerleaders!" Here's where the thinking occurred: what exactly is a "mature cheerleader"? Once out of college, there isn't much of a cheerleader market in this world. Most students graduate by age 22 (we are tacitly dismissing the possibility of graduate/post-graduate cheerleaders). Allowing time for making up failed classes, unplanned pregnancies, substance abuse problems, bereavement of dead relatives/roommates, we would expect over 99% of cheerleaders to be out of school by 26. Compared to a 6th grader, 26 may indeed be mature, however, I doubt the originators of that email had such a juxtaposition in mind when they developed their randy tag line. In any event, in the big picture, I hasten to call 26 mature. Which brings us back to the original question.
Of course, there is a professional market for cheerleaders in such arenas as professional sports and used car lot promotion, but these cheerleaders are lucky to have their GEDs, let alone a college degree. Most are simply strippers either killing time until their shift starts, or waiting for their crystal meth to wear off (or both). In other words, they are not older than college age. In fact, since most of them will be dead, pregnant or in prison by the time they reach 24, we would expect the mean age of this professional cheerleader demographic to be between 20 and 21. But perhaps here we may find a clue as to what exactly constitutes a "mature cheerleader".
The "mature cheerleader" is a creature of fiction, not of the real world as we know it. The mature cheerleader is simply a recycled porn thespian or stripper in a Halloween costume reinventing her career after her fourth divorce. She does a little hoochie-coochie dance for fifteen minutes in an aluminum siding warehouse in Chatsworth, then stops being a mature cheerleader. Put another way, the mature cheerleader is a lie! Just another vicious lie in my bloated inbox.
Just like the lie about the Professional Ethical Realtor, or lawyer.
El G
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Here is an example of a Hot Mature Cheerleader.
Here is an example of a Hot Mature Cheerleader.
Marin County, California Lucy Olson, the California Mrs. James K. “Jim” Olson who also has a Nevada Mrs. James K. “Jim” Olson, is a simple, undereducated, preaching buffoon. She is half a baby step away from the homeless people who babble to themselves in the street. She may well be insane, it's hard to tell without seeing her in person. Just stop. Stop embarrassing yourself and go away. Far away. Far away where the Mrs' run free and chase butterflies in fields of sunflowers. Go be with the Mrs', Lucy. Let them pet your head and tell you the truth. Now go Marin County, California Lucy Olson, be free, be with your people. Run along sweet cheeks, run along. Good girl, good....
“Lucy, you lookin' at me? You look' at me? Are you lookin' at me?" It's awesome. Not only is she dumb, she's totally looped. Marin County, California Lucy Olson, you can't hide what you are and what you do. You are a sanctimonious psycho bitch. I think Bristol Palin's retarded fetus is more qualified to be a Mrs than Marin County, California Lucy Olson is. Lucy, are you trying to out-stupid yourself?! If so, mission accomplished girl! Go treat yourself to a Nazi pie! Lucy, if you send me a postage pre-paid 3 x 3 x 3 box, I'll mail you the shit Eleanor and Gertrude produced on you false starements. I can also send you a clump of their urine (complete with litter) if you like. Next person to call this dumb, crazy bitch a cunt will get a -1 on their comment from me. Take that, potty mouths.
El G.
INSURANCE FRAUD in Nevada
INSURANCE FRAUD in Nevada
If you are a concerned citizen who wishes to report suspected insurance fraud, please PRINT, FILL OUT and MAIL the following information:
1. The addresses and telephone numbers of the person(s) involved if known. Any other identifying information would be helpful, i.e., social security number, license plate numbers, etc. James “Jim” K. Olson, 570540077, July 29, 1945, 7 View Ridge Dr, Novato, CA 94949
2. Where the suspected person(s) work; Novato California Parks and Recreation
3. The name of the insurance company you suspect is being defrauded; Farmers insurance, Texeira, Carson City, Nevada regarding 13870 Mt. Babcock, Reno, NV 89506, and,
4. The date, location and time of the occurrence. 13870 Mt. Babcock, Reno, NV 89506
5. Please provide information of each and every detail you can of why you believe insurance fraud has been committed by the above person(s). Are there any other witnesses whom we may contact? The Reno Mrs. Olson,
6. It would be very helpful if you could provide us any documents you have in your possession and/or can obtain which would support your suspicions regarding the above. Farmer's insurance documents James “Jim” K. Olson signed.
We Cannot Accept electronic transmissions.
After you have completed your form, please mail (along with documentation) to:
Office of the Attorney General
Insurance Fraud Unit
555 E. Washington Avenue, Suite 3900
Las Vegas, NV 89101
Once again, the Nevada Attorney General's Insurance Fraud Unit thanks you for your concern and cooperation.
Sincere regards,
CATHERINE CORTEZ MASTO
Attorney General
I'll always give you the benefit of the doubt. If I didn't, what does that say about me and my ethics? Craig B
http://reno.broowaha.com/profile.php?id=1516 and http://groovystuff.ning.com/profile/CraigBerkeley
Hmmmmm - Marin County,
Hmmmmm - Marin County, California James “Jim” K. Olson's involved in bigamy and insurance fraud and forgery. Maybe bigamy or insurance fraud or forgery is a problem where you're at, but it is not a problem in Los Angeles, or obviously Marin County, California. What's wrong with you?
Jim Olson is a ballroom superstar, emphasis on the balls. He has won the Bigamist of the Decade Award as well as the Fraudster of the Decade Award. He simultaneously led two wives to orgasm before throwing Mrs. Reno under the wheels of the bus. He is a starting dresser in the San Francisco Bay Area Cross-dressers Club. He has movie star looks with the help of makeup. His charisma in the ballroom dance world is second to none. The world is his $2 whore.
Los Angeles and Marin County understand that Jim Olson does not need to be weighed down by his bigamy, or his cross-dressing unless his ball gown gets wet, or his insurance fraud until he's arrested, or his forgery, also an arrest in the making. When is the last time the local media mentioned said bigamy or cross-dressing or fraud or forgery? Exactly … who knows … he is Jim Olson and he has his life to lead.
So what if Jim Olson is hanging out with and banging the Mrs. Reno Olson in Reno while his Novato Lucy wife keeps the Novato, California trailer fires burning? Lucy Olson is not going to spank and choke herself. So what if Jim Olson's Reno wife needs a father figure? Nick Lachey needs someone to do bullet shots with at Hyde.
Jim Olson would be wise to relocate to Los Angeles to be amongst other visionaries like himself. In fact, we should thank Jim Olson, an outsider from Novato, California, for reminding us what it means to be Angelinos. I hope Jim Olson's gruesome tale is not an omen for the future state of our nation. If throwing your Reno wife under the wheels of the bus is right, I am scared to know what wrong is.
(This article is dedicated to the loving memory of Ms. Anna Nicole Smith. We can only pray that Elton John will eulogize her, and the various Mr. and Mrs. James “Jim” K. Olsons with yet another version of that candle song on national TV. Goodbye, Vickie Lynn… your dealers will miss you.)
Marin County Lawyer Steven
Marin County Lawyer Steven T. Schoonover Says, Jim, Use Her Love For You Against Her
http://renomortgagefraudexposes.ning.com/profiles/blogs/marin-county-law...
Hmmmmm – Ultra-liberal
Hmmmmm – Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover involved in falsifying court documents/perjury and enabling client lies/perjury. Maybe falsifying court documents/perjury and enabling client lies/perjury is a problem where you're at, but it is not a problem in Los Angeles, or obviously ultra-liberal Marin County, California. What's wrong with you?
Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover has won the Fraudster of the Decade Award. He throws Reno wives under the wheels of the false documents' bus. The world is his $2 whore.
Los Angeles and ultra-liberal Marin County, California understand that ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover does not need to be weighed down by his falsifying court documents/perjury and enabling client lies/perjury until he's arrested. When is the last time the local media mentioned said falsifying court documents/perjury and enabling client lies/perjury? Exactly … who knows … he is Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover and he has his life to lead.
So what if Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover is hanging out banging Reno while his ultra-liberal Marin County, California clients keeps the Marin County, California fraud fires burning and bank accounts full? Ultra-liberal Marin County, California is not going to spank and choke themselves. So what if Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover needs a mother figure? Nick Lachey needs someone to do bullet shots with at Hyde.
Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover would be wise to relocate to Los Angeles to be amongst other visionaries like himself. In fact, we should thank Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover l, for reminding us what it means to be Angelinos. I hope Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer Steven T, Schoonover's gruesome tale is not an omen for the future state of our nation. If falsifying court documents/perjury and enabling client lies/perjury to throwing your neighbors in your state and several other states under the wheels of the bus is right, I am scared to know what wrong is.
(This article is dedicated to the loving memory of Ms. Anna Nicole Smith. We can only pray that Elton John will eulogize her, and Ultra-liberal Marin County, California lawyer fraudster Steven T, Schoonover and his lying cross-dressing client James “Jim” K. Olson with yet another version of that candle song on national TV. Goodbye, Vickie Lynn… your dealers will miss you.)
Even Porky is a hard-bitten middle aged jaded soul who has seen the true ugliness of the real world and knows there is only one way to survive.
Even Porky is a hard-bitten middle aged jaded soul who has seen the true ugliness of the real world and knows there is only one way to survive.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_mJ4lc_Q9Q6k/SQnmw6haPrI/AAAAAAAASH0/Gf7YbexE0d...
Is it still sarcasm when I have to explain it?
El G, that's with one G.
Schoonover, Marin County
Schoonover, Marin County ultra-liberal lawyer Steven T. Schoonover that is, looks like a trans-sexual. No surprise there considering it's ultra-liberal Marin County, California. Falsifying stuff also doesn't surprise me either. That's what lawyers do.
The lazy all-around incompetent judges in ultra-liberal Marin County, California have been increasingly complaining about the threats against them. I believe the increase in threats is because the judges do not rule by the law, and don't give a shit that the Marin County, California lawyers are giving them false paperwork that either they and/or their perjuring clients make up as they go along.
Maybe when this country is completely destroyed, which is where the ultra-liberals are rapidly taking it, it will be open season on ultra-liberal lawyers like Marin County perjuring lawyer Steven T. Schoonover.
Mock One: I heard that the
Mock One: I heard that the reason no police in the wealthiest county in the known universe, that Verrry Special Ultra-liberal Marin County, California have arrested James K. Olson is that soooo many of them, especailly the Novato, California Police Department, are also closeted cds with leather & bondage fetishes. Oh those Marin boys and their shiny smoooooth leather verrry high-heeled boots and conveniently sanctioned bondage accouterments. I nominate James K. Olson and the Novato Police Deaprtment for The Mock The Fool of The Year 2009 Award. All in favor, write aye. Savvy mate?
Mock Two: I heard on Fox News James K.Olson's Cinderella nincompoop lawyers are also closeted cds with bondage fetishes as they've been spotted in full Bettie Page drag doing the Waltz. I also heard on Fox News they are really ugly as women! AYE. Savvy mate?
Mock Three: Oh I'm sure James K. Olson & his dolt lawyers, Steven T. Schoonover and John P. Springgate, are doing some more dancing after they read Mock The Fool's Ridicule Served On A Skewer. I heard on Fox News James K. Olson's ninny lawyers saw the high heel fit so they sure quickly Stepped Into It. What are James K. Olson's insipid lawyer's names anyway? I nominate Steven T. Schoonover and John P. Springgate for The Mock The Fool Runner Up of The Year 2007 Award. I also heard on Fox News why James K. Olson went to live in Marin County & work at a Marin County school or two or three or four or five . . . more opportunity to Teach Troll – meet the desperately seeking husband women like the school sec, & young girls. Then I heard on Fox News James K. Olson's attorneys are uuuuuugly as men also. Those hair rugs, not even up to William Shatner quality. Typical lawyers. Aye. Savvy mate?
Mock Four: I heard on Fox News why James K. Olson teaches ballroom dancing for the City of Novato . . . all that makeup & glitter – on him. Aye. I also heard from Fox News this Wholey Story: James K. Olson's Marin lawyer, Steven T. Schoonover, is Hotter Than A Pepper Sprout as a Short Sister of Perpetual Indulgence repeatedly spotted at church repeatedly asking forgiveness for his repeated sin of GASP lying. Savvy mate?
Mock Five: Oh those DQs. I heard why James K. Olson plays trumpet . . . it's sooo smooth, long & shiny. I heard from Fox News James K. Olson's Reno lawyer Steven T, Schoonover, aka, Short Attack Dog In That Really Pretty Glitter Harness, is kissing cousin of our cd Prez candidate Rudy G/Judy G whose latest wife gave him the harness. Aye. Savvy mate?
Mock Six: Oh those Drag Queens. I heard on Fox News James K. Olson teaches ballroom dancing for the City of Novato because of the more opportunities to Dance Troll - meet the old & rich desperately seeking husband women, & young naive girls. My instrument's smoother, longer & shinier than his. AYE. Savvy mate?
Mock One: The Troll doing the Troll. Another ballroom dance James K. Olson's teaching at the Novato Recreation Department? I'm gonna sign up for THAT class right now. The Ayes have it. I'll check on RuPaul's availablity for delivering The Mock The Fool of The Year 2007 Award to James K. Olson's trailer home. I suspect RuPaul gonna charge Mock The Fool extra for RuPaul's ignominy of going out to TrailerLand. Savvy mate? http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=7+view+ridge+novato+california&um=1&...
Mock Five: DQ = Drag Queens Drama Queens no distinction. I heard on Fox News the greatly Senator Wide-Stance “I am not gay, I have never been gay, I love my wife,” Larry Craig is a cousin of James K. olson. Ergo, his Wholey Story: “I am not a cross-dresser. I have never been a cross-dresser. I love my wives.” Savvy mate?
Mock Four: I heard on Fox news ANY instrument's smoother, longer & shinier than James K. Olsons. Savvy mate?
Mock Two: I heard on Fox News we'd already nominated the Marin County, California police and the Novato, California Police Department for The Mock The Fool Runner Up of The Year 2009 Award. Savvy mate?
Mock Three: Amazing, Fox News knew what we are doing before we did! I heard from Fox News The Mock The Fool Runner Up of The Year 2009 Award is to be a tie, in order to please James K. Olson's bondage fetishes we will tie them all, between James K. Olson's esteemed lawyers, Steven T. Schoonover and John P. Springgate, and the esteemed Marin County, California police, especially the Novato, California Police Department. Savvy mate?
Mock Two: I heard on Fox News James K. Olson's is an Alley Cat Values proponent. Savvy mate?
Mock Four: I heard on Fox News James K. Olson's response to his position on Alley Cat Values was Me?YEOW! Savvy mate?
Mock One: I heard on Fox News that it's Rudy Giuliani James K. Olson's now supporting. They have that heterodoxy in common. Rudy Giuliani , the cross-dressing, nonchurch-going, closet elitist, neo-patriotic, pro-military, pro-choice, several times married, double-lifer, feeding at the public trough, New York Republican tying himself up has much in common with James K. Olson, the cross-dressing, nonchurch-going, closet elitist, neo-patriotic, pro-military, pro-choice, several times married, double-lifer, feeding at the public trough, Marin County Republican tying himself up. Both have urban cowboy (those high-heels again) Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy masks and costumes, are tough-talking liars, have moral unclarity in their rhetoric, have spectacularly rocky personal and professional lives, and have special vulnerabilities aka Secrets. In other words, nothing new under the sun here, the gun-slinging sheriff archetype, just with different ZIP codes. Savvy Mate? Kris, those Little Caesar's pizza and Pepsi specials have also gotten us through many a starving time. Now if we just can get them to add A Hot & Willing Female Topping with it . . . Keep on Mocking!
Mock Five: I heard on Fox News that "Every great movement must experience three stages: ridicule, discussion, adoption" John Stuart Mill. Savvy Mate?
Speaking of Marin County,
Speaking of Marin County, California, it was not so long ago that another Marin County lawyer, our favorite Michael B. Samuels took a temporary leave of absence after news of some of his quirky idiosyncrasies became public. It seems Michael B. Samuels enjoyed doing a few rails then masturbating in the presence of some of his female staff and clients (since when is safe sex a bad thing?). Michael B. Samuels also liked to hit the sauce before, during and after his cases. It's Marin County, who doesn't?
Then who could forget Michael B. Samuels coke and alcohol induced voicemails to his favorite female colleagues: "God you're so f***in' hot. And I wanna eat you… I feel like goin' f***in' crazy! I'm so f***in' into you. I want you badly, and I know you want me, but you have to be with Betsy, too. You're so f***in' hot… Yeah, let's take it to the limit! Let's go nuts! Let's hire a hooker. Let's get some coke. We'll go crazy. You're so f***in' hot."
Oh excuse me, Macho America, I did not realize expressing your feelings is shameful. Fortunately for the sensible ones amongst us, Counselor Michael B. Samuels' brief departure from his law practice was merely a ruse concocted by the brain trust of the Marin County and California Bar Associations to placate the do-gooders of middle America who do not understand how we do things out here in California. After the requisite mea culpa on Dr. Phil, Michael B. Samuels was back in court updating the courts about other people's problems.
The local Mafia boss hired a
The local Mafia boss hired a deaf accountant, thinking the accountant wouldn't be able to overhear their more "delicate" discussions. One day, the boss realized that a sum of $10 million was missing and went to confront the accountant. Since the boss didn't know sign language, he took his attorney with him who did know sign language. The boss told the attorney to ask the accountant where he put the $10 million.
The attorney and accountant conversed in sign language and the attorney translated for the boss, telling him that the accountant didn't know what the boss was talking about. The boss took out a gun and aimed it at the accountant. He instructed the attorney to ask the accountant again. The conversation occurred in sign language between the attorney and the accountant. This time the accountant told the attorney that the money was under his cousin Lorenzo's patio. The boss asked the attorney what the accountant had said and the attorney reported, "He said you don't have the guts to pull that trigger."
Mary Anne Adams
Not that I'd hound the
Not that I'd hound the College of Marin's Band Director, and his dolce (Sweetly) two wives (see Cindy's intriguing article in SF BrooWaha Now you call it madness (but I call it love)), but if I did, here's a list of questions I'd promise not to ask as we in media-land are all drooling to have the exclusive interview with this suddenly publicity-shy conductor.
So far the closest has been Cindy in that yellow rag San Francisco Broowaha who beat us to the court papers. Darn! Well, if Cindy is going to shamelessly lower journalistic standards, I oughta be able to, too! So, Jim, Morgan, Lucy, dahlings, bubbelah, why don't you consider talking to me? I'm very open-minded. I'll even put you in a paper with all those escort, B & D Clubs and pot-club ads. I won't pester you with the prying questions everyone wants to ask. In fact, here's a list of questions I promise not to pose.
Jim, how soon will you be conducting the College of Marin's Symphonic Band in Barber's School for Scandal? Lucy, how would you describe the COM band director's, uh, job performance these nights? A) Too focused on his own rhythm. B) A cappella (performed without instrumental accompaniment). C) adagio (Quite slow as he is probably tired after the other wife). D) andante (Moderately slow as maybe there is more than meets the eye to Jim). Sorry to be so focused on sex.
Morgan, does Jim like accent (The emphasis on a beat resulting in that beat being louder or longer than another)? Tell me this: If you were an animal, what animal would you sleep with? Jim, tell us how you became a master of ad libitum Indication that gives the performer the liberty to omit a section or to improvise)?
Lucy, is Jim the kind of musician who likes to brag about the size of his instrument? Morgan, do your carpets match the drapes? Your collar match the cuffs? In other words, do you dye your beautiful hair? Jim, isn't your double life so great, so totally consuming, that it can now be termed catastrophic? Certainly the outcome was, according to your attorneys who seem rather agitato (Agitated or restless) as opposed to allegro (Fast, cheerful).
Jim, what about your attorneys' masterful use of arabesque (Decorative material or a composition based on florid embellishment)? Morgan, is it true that you are a dominant? Jim — boxers or briefs or panties? So Jim, how does an arioso (Short) guy like you have two wives when us tall guys can't keep one happy? Jim, do you agree your life is a bit atonality (moves from one level of dissonance to another, without areas of relaxation)? In other words, you getting any from either wife these nights? Or is your sex life in decrescendo (The dynamic effect of gradually growing softer), diminuendo (Growing softer)?
Morgan, will Jim da capo (an indication to return to the beginning of a piece)? Lucy, is your life now just a tad disjunct (Disjointed or disconnected)? Morgan, what do you think of mixing leather and vinyl or is it just too dissonance (Combination of tones that sounds discordant and unstable, in need of resolution)?
Let's not dwell on the past and look to the future. Will any of you be soon sleeping with any one else? So there you have it. How does that sound? If you're interested, drop me a line.